Monthly Archives: August 2015

Episode #23 – “Moving Out” – December 10, 1997

This is it. After nearly six months, these seven strangers are about to leave The Real World for the real world, and they’re each handling it in their own way. Genesis, sadly, is faring the worst. She is in “total fear” of losing everything she has in Boston (the house, her roommates, the Center) and going home, where all she has is unpaid bills, no apartment, no girlfriend and no job. She scared of never seeing the housemates again, and she regrets that she didn’t open up and share more. For now, she shares a cry and a tissue with Kameelah.

Montana, perhaps realizing that her mistakes, tries to mend fences with Elka, telling her that if her time there was worth anything, it was because of her friendships with her, Sean and Syrus. “When you get married, I will be there,” she promises. In the confessional, we reach Peak Elka: “[Montana] may be a feminist and she may not be a virgin, but we have a lot in common.”

While Sean wants all seven to have one last dinner at Artu’s, where they ate the first time they all went out together. Montana is down: after everything, even if they don’t like each other, they survived the experience together, and she wants to commemorate that. But other resentments are still very real. Kameelah wonders why they have to “relive this nightmare,” and if she doesn’t go, Genesis doesn’t want to go either; they eventually agree to go after some prodding from make-love-not-war Jason.

At Artu’s they toast to five and half months of memories. Elka notes all her firsts: being away from home, having roommates, working with kids, having a relationship with a gay person. They’re “all good” experiences, and it’s going to be hard to leave. Even Kameelah comes around to Montana’s way of thinking: no matter how horrible things got, they’re leaving as a group, and it’s been the best experience she’s had.

Back at the house, Sean notes that his “naiveness” was a big impediment in his relationships with Genesis and Kameelah, and Genesis admits that she was more closed off than she should have been. “We all should have had this conversation two months ago,” Sean says, and it’s the most right he’s ever been on the show.

Sean and Syrus play one last game of pool and, with Montana, they toast to the “three homies.” They’re in a more celebratory mode than Genesis, Jason and Kameelah, who commiserate about not going back home to much. At the airport, they share tearful goodbyes as they leave, one by one. Sean goes to give Kameelah a handshake and she tells him “don’t be retarded” as they hug; she even hugs Montana goodbye. Montana is the only one not flying, and Vaj pulls up in a purple Mustang convertible (for all their drama, it’s as if it never happened). Genesis blows Jason a kiss, and that’s it.

Well, my two-month nostalgia trip is over. I’ve found this whole project rewarding, not just as a writing exercise, but as an examination of memory and its various tricks (it’s no The Night Of The Gun, but the principle is the same). Some things I remembered vividly: Montana and the wine, the discussion of homosexuality with the kids, Syrus being a player. Other things were more vague: playing doctor at Martha’s Vineyard, Elka’s relationship with Walter, Sean’s goofiness. And I can’t believe I completely forgot about the Real World / Road Rules challenge. But even now, my memories of what I watched when I was 13 and what I saw for the first time in the past few weeks are starting to blur. Even my opinions of the housemates has changed from my initial memories and impressions, as did their portrayals as the show progressed.

I retrospectively identified with Jason based on his outsider status, and while I would have liked to see more of his story, that same status kept him apart from much of the action. I had remembered Genesis being cool, but I didn’t realize how crucial her journey — not just dealing with her sexuality, but her empowerment in general — was to the core of the season. No wonder so many people I spoke with named her as their favorite. Similarly, I didn’t remember Kameelah as being such a prominent figure and strong personality in the house, and I certainly didn’t realize the Kameelah-ass-list had lived on in the pop culture consciousness.

Sean, Syrus and, to a certain extent, Elka remained consistent from beginning to end, both in my memory and on the show, but their compatriot Montana changed most, both for me and on the show. My first impression was Jessa of Girls, “but on her best day and without the malice,” and while her over-sharing and life sessions had their charms, her manipulative, self-centered behavior (from her relationship with Vaj to her actions at the Center) certainly revealed some malice I hadn’t remembered.

I’m not going to lie: like every other series finale I’ve ever seen, from Six Feet Under to The Shield to The Sopranos to Scrubs, the end of Real World: Boston was emotional for me. For someone who holds television as highly as I do, even happy endings are bittersweet, and while ending my “relationship” with fictional characters is always tough, this was different. Obviously, these aren’t fictional characters (although their portrayals might be fictionalized and finessed by producers and editors), and instead of having to contemplate “what ifs,” we have “where are they nows.”

Sean is perhaps the most notable: after marrying Rachel Campos from San Fransisco, he got into politics and is currently a Republican congressman; they have seven children. Any insights he gleaned into the lives of gays and blacks in America might have been for naught, as a member of some of the most conservative Congresses ever. And while Sean might be “making a difference,” Kameelah is actually making a difference: she’s an OB/GYN in New York.

All the housemates would go on to participate in various Real World/Road Rules Challenges, but none did so more than Syrus, who competed in five seasons post-Boston. He also turned his MTV celebrity into a career, working in the entertainment industry in various capacities. Jason also capitalized on his reality TV experience, but in the opposite direction: he quickly moved behind the scenes and is a partner at a reality TV casting company that bears his name; he lives in Santa Monica.

Also in California: Montana is an acupuncturist, herbalist and massage therapist. Genesis is a graphic designer and photographer whose Twitter bio describes her as a “Reality TV ‘has-been’.” Elka was engaged to Walter for a time and eventually ended up in California, but is the quietest, internet-wise; I guess that makes sense, all things considered.

Even after rewatching the season, and even after doing a little bit of internet stalking, I have to admit, I don’t know these people at all. Elka touched on this in an interview back in 2001. “Even if they know me for that span of five months, I say, ‘Sure, you know me. You know what I was up to for those five months, but you don’t know me as a person.’” For all it meant to me then (and now, to be honest) The Real World is not the real world.

Best musical moments: After all the old favorites, hit records and nostalgia bombs, the season closed first with Oasis’ ‘Don’t Go Away’ and then — as the show frequently did — with something a little more on the nose: Boston’s ‘Foreplay/Long Time’. “Well I’m takin’ my time, I’m just movin’ on / You’ll forget about me after I’ve been gone.”

Episode #16 – “Pent-Up Emotions In The Pig Pen (a.k.a. Communication)” – October 22, 1997
Episode #21 – “Black, White, And Sunburn All Over” – November 26, 1997
Episode #22 – “Turning to the Other Side” – December 3, 1997

Every friend group in high school and college eventually breaks down into cliques: even if based on shared interests and beliefs, these are friendships of convenience and circumstance, the best-case-scenarios of home towns and college campuses. Lines will be formed, usually over the minor differences that get blown out of proportion by youthful vision. This is no different for The Real World, the ultimate fishbowl friendship. These seven people have been cast specifically for their differences, for the conflict and drama they create.

As the season hits its final stretch, the housemates’ relationships are well established. Other than at work or during their Puerto Rico trip, all seven rarely hang out together. When they finally do sit down and talk at dinner, it becomes clear why. Sean tells Genesis that he feels like she never wants to talk to him; she says she doesn’t have anything in common with him, Montana and Syrus. “We’re not one big happy family,” she explains, “and we’re never going to be.” Sean thinks she’s prejudiced against him because he’s a straight, white male (ha!) and Montana is more explicit: “She doesn’t like being in the house, she doesn’t like hanging out with us, good, then get the fuck out.”

Genesis calls it “high school, reinvented,” and she’s not inaccurate. Cliques have formed with Genesis, Jason and Kameelah on one side and Sean, Syrus and Montana on the other; Elka is the swing-woman. The first group are prone to introspection, and the most likely to seek their communities out of the house, whether that means at gay clubs, black fraternities or artist parties. Sean, Syrus and Montana like to hit the town, have a few drinks and see where the chips fall.

Since her most recent identity crisis, Genesis has found a well a self-respect and assertiveness, and has made a Kameelah-ass list of her own, except not just for dating, but for living life. Her “Genesisisms” are the accumulation of her beliefs and opinions, turned into life lessons. Examples: “Lesson 75: Using your childhood as an excuse only makes you appear more immature, when you are an adult there are no more excuses,” “Lesson 83: Those that deny are the one’s [sic] more deeply involved.” She prints them in a Gothic font and starts pasting them around the house, and some of her housemates are less than impressed.

“I don’t need someone’s dogma when I’m trying to go to the 7-11,” Montana says, critiquing Genesis’s lessons as poorly-written ideas originally stated (and better stated) elsewhere. It probably doesn’t help that some of the Genesisisms seem to be coupled with a target: Jason thinks Lesson 75 is about Montana, while Genesis claims it’s about herself (even if it’s applicable to nearly everyone in the house). Syrus is on Montana’s side and decides to tear them down. “Wait ‘till hell breaks loose.” (It’s interesting how alliances have changed: when he was under attack, Syrus could count on only Sean and Genesis; Montana was perhaps his sharpest critic and is now one of his closer friends.) Genesis takes it as a “personal jab,” and Kameelah and Jason agree. “Were [the Genesisisms] hurting them?” Kameelah asks. “It was an ignorant thing to do; they’re going back up.”

Meanwhile, tensions have also been building in the house because — in a situation familiar to anyone who’s had roommates – they’re all slobs. Plates are unwashed, garbage piles up and the house stinks. Sean and Syrus clean the place, much to Genesis’s amusement; she’s amazed that anyone but her and Kameelah cleaned up. At this point, Sean, Syrus and Montana get in the sign game, writing a message posterboard (“O ye of much filth,” a pseudo-Biblical mock-up of the Genesisisms, plus a cringeworthy swastika next to “food nazis”) and a food-festooned tribute to the “pig of the day.” The first pig of the day is Jason, and they take his dirty plates and put them next to his bed while he’s sleeping (all captured on the Sean Cam, naturally).

Genesis fires the next salvo, flipping their poster and writing, “Just because you cleaned the kitchen once doesn’t make you God. Kiss my ass.” She crowns Sean the “asshole of the year” and the two finally have words while everyone else listens in (Sean stands on a chair in a pretty lame act of intimidation). Sean says she hasn’t spoken up or stuck up for herself before, while Genesis assails his “supremacy complex” and says that’s what she’s finally doing. “That felt awesome,” she tells Jason. “You’re about to see a new side of Genesis and it won’t be pretty.”

Genesis and Kameelah grab lunch with Anthony, who tells them “that house needs an enema.” Instead of an enema, they get another vacation: to Boston’s favorite getaway, Martha’s Vineyard. The tension between the two cliques is apparent by the time they hit the ferry, and — spoiler alert — the trip only calcifies the divisions. There’s no kumbaya moment, no spiritual enema.

At their gorgeous beach house, Jason quickly claims the master bedroom, which he says is perfect for three people — namely him, Kameelah and Genesis — kicking off a weekend of flirting. Genesis teases him, saying she thought he was a “fag;” he jokes that she didn’t notice his “obvious masculinity.” She soon will get a better look at his masculinity: after flashing Kameelah, Genesis wants to see, too (she’s never seen a penis). In a gesture of fairness, Genesis and Kameelah both flash him and they joke about how much closer they feel after seeing each other nude. That’s certainly true for Jason and Kameelah; there’s definitely mutual attraction as they flirt with, tease and chase each other across the house. “You should just have sex and get it over with,” says Genesis.

While Jason, Kameelah and Genesis are playing doctor, the other housemates are having good ol’ fashioned fun, playing charades, cards and taking old-timey photos. They exchange glances as Jason and Kameelah cause a ruckus, and while there’s no actual conflict at the beach, Kameelah is “paranoid” about walking into the house and having all the negativity come back.

They return to the house and begin their final stretch in Boston. There’s a lot of packing up, giving each other gifts and sharing memories — and enough time for some final drama. While Kameelah and Elka have started talking again, Montana stirs shit up, pretending to “look out” for Elka when she’s simply trying to sabotage Kameelah. And she still has no filter: “No offense to you but I’m sick of living with 19 year olds.”

This is where the she said-she said stuff gets complicated. In an effort to clear the air, Elka brings up a conversation where Montana claimed that Kameelah called Elka a “drama queen from Brownsville” that is “so far up Montana’s butt that it’s messing up her digestive system.” Kameelah immediately cops to the latter, but not to the drama queen bit, which sounds suspiciously like Montana. They confront Montana when she gets home but she says she doesn’t remember and that she’s tired of defending herself. Montana then fires back at Elka, telling her she regrets sharing anything personal with her. Elka says she’s being “petty,” and that she thought their friendship mattered more than that. Montana is not so sure.

Kameelah and Elka may be on good terms, but the same can’t be said of her relationships with Montana and Sean. She overheard them in the confessional room, taking a shot at her eye-rolling habit and saying that she’s immature for her age and that she’s trying to run their lives. Kameelah doesn’t pull any punches when she sees Montana, telling her to “leave my name out of your mouth.” Montana stands her ground: “I have the right to say what I want to say.”

Kameelah isn’t the only one that finds out how her housemates actually feel about her: Sean finds a note that she left in the bathroom, and shares the shit-talking contents with Montana before giving it back to her, saying she should be more careful with things like that. Kameelah is generally over Sean’s shit, and she’s tired of representing all of black America for the “whitest of white boys.” Sean actually thinks Kameelah is some sort of black supremacist, which would be funny if it wasn’t so clueless.

They eventually have it out, with Sean raising the same concerns he had with Genesis: he feels like she’s building a wall and not letting him into her life, and Kameelah doesn’t deny it: why would she let him in when he refuses to see her as a person but as a spokesperson for her race? Sean’s confrontations with Genesis and Kameelah are telling, as he feels persecuted by women who are gay and black, respectively. Maybe his future as a Republican congressman isn’t so shocking, after all. What is Congress, if not a group of conflicting cliques?

Best Musical Moments: These episodes, more so than the others, sounded like the mixtapes I’d make by recording The Buzz: alt-rock radio staples Beastie Boys (‘Sabotage’) and Soundgarden (‘Fell On Black Days’) next to personal favorites like Our Lady Peace’s ‘Superman’s Dead’, David Bowie’s Reznor-assisted ‘I’m Afraid of Americans’ and Blink-182’s ‘Dammit’. And while I never would have copped to it at the time, the Spice Girls’ ‘Wannabe’ (which Elka gives Kameelah) is possibly the best pop song ever.